9.10 am - Sitting at my meticulously disinfected desk after checking I could still smell and taste my cup of coffee. Phew! All OK for now I guess.
Staring at an unusually empty inbox while munching chocolate biscuit. Only one email draws my attention. It's from Austin, Texas, from American shopping channel. Client was scheduled to fly over and go on air to sell her skincare products. Now flight cancelled due to lockdown.
Can she do a live remote instead, today or tomorrow? What? How does that even work?
Thank Goodness for the time difference. It's still middle of the night in Austin. Will get back as soon as I've checked the news.
9.37 am - Having become a news junkie due to coronavirus, am scanning my iPhone, PC, Twitter, Facebook for latest updates while nibbling on another chocolate biscuit. Waste about an hour.
10.35 am - Achoo! OMG! Have just sneezed. Quickly check my temperature. It’s hovering around 36.3. Phew! All OK for now I guess.
In an attempt to regain some normality to my working day and take my mind off the impending apocalypse, I do some editing of a client’s book and chew yet another chocolate biscuit.
12.06 pm - Eccentric friend and on and off client Lady B calls. Talking about her latest hare-brained idea cooked up in middle of the night. Listen to her patiently while pointing out the pitfalls but she won’t have any of it. Eventually promise to look into it while munching another choccy biccy. Have time after all.
12.31 pm – Cough cough.. OMG! Am I going to die? But it’s only a tickle in the throat, not a continuous cough I tell myself reassuringly. Phew! All OK for now I guess.
We have to eat nutritious food we’re told, especially during these scary times.
Make myself avocado, tomato and mozzarella salad for lunch after disinfecting kitchen surfaces for the third time today.
We have to keep fit we're told and need fresh air to avoid cabin fever.
Sun is shining, the sky is blue. Planning to walk round the block, but need to wear mask. If only I could lay my hands on a mask like one worn by glamorous President of Slovakia!
And to top it all, am having a 'bad hair day'. My hairdresser had to close her salon.
Could things get any worse?
2.45 pm – Time to sort out American shopping channel. After numerous emails and phone calls to client, live remote show now put off until 5th April. Alleluia!
Client re-launching hand sanitiser previously marketed to beauty salons for manicurists. Sudden huge demand, including big order from Thames Water. Would I offer some to No 10 Downing Street? Sure. Now where did I put Boris's mobile number?
3.52 pm - Back to some more editing while eating another choccie biccy. But hic! Hic! I’m hiccupping. OMG! Is that it? Am I done for? Quick check on Google reveals hiccups aren’t one of the symptoms. Phew! All OK for now I guess.
My legs start itching. Eczema returned because of stress. Stress?? Who am I kidding?? Can only be Covid-19. Check on Google reveals eczema not amongst symptoms. Phew! All OK for now I guess.
4.31 pm – Turn my attention to flood of emails from journalists released daily. Needless to say 90% of requests about coronavirus. One of these asking for opinions on how our lives will have changed when we emerge at the other end. Reply in my usual flippant manner “We’ll all be fat, alcoholic, OCD hypochondriacs” Reply comes back asking if I would be interested in talking on the radio. Would that be by any chance for BBC Radio 4's Today programme? Or possibly Woman’s Hour? Nope. Quick check reveals it’s from some amateur station run by cool teenage raver. Give it a miss.
5.25 pm – Time for my daily Italian lesson online. Cheers me up to watch young Italian couple chatting in busy café in sunlit Florence.
But hold on! Is it a headache I feel coming on? OMG! Panic! Quickly take paracetamol. But... was it paracetamol or aspirin not recommended to take? Check on Google. Phew! Followed correct advice. All OK for now I guess. Finish box of chocolate biscuits
6 pm – Watch BBC news with coronavirus update. Would love a glass of wine but had given up alcohol for Lent. Oh why, oh why did all this have to happen now? Oh well, at least I won’t emerge as an alcoholic - just a fat, OCD hypochondriac at the end of it all. If I make it.
Spend evening binge watching news. BBC 1, BBC 4, Newsnight, ITV, Channel 4, Sky News, Al Jazeera UK, RT International, you name it. In between chat to friends and family on phone, message on WhatsApp and Messenger, check Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. Again and again.
1 am – is that really the time? Get ready for bed. Drift off to sleep dreaming I’m quarantined on an island off Venice. Try to remember past participle of an Italian irregular verb. Zzzz
Well, tomorrow is another day.. Or is it??